The World of Keem

Monday, January 23, 2006

Hmm. It takes forever to post and then it's about trivia

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Keem!

  1. Keemocracy is government by Keem!
  2. Keem has enough fat to produce 32 bars of soap.
  3. The deepest part of Keem is over 35,000 feet deep!
  4. Cats use their Keem to test whether a space is large enough for them to fit through.
  5. Keem is incapable of sleep.
  6. Keem can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant.
  7. Grapes explode if you put them inside Keem.
  8. You should always open Keem at least an hour before drinking her.
  9. Keem has little need for water and is capable of going for months without drinking at all!
  10. The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Keem Head!
I am interested in - do tell me about

Friday, December 24, 2004

My friend Bob...

At Beth's request, I am going to share the tales of my friend Bob. I have known him for about 15 years now. He is one of the most creative and funny people I know. We used to work together and now are just really good friends.

He started out as my manager. I got as far as I did in the company with alot of help from him and tons of encouragement. I ended up getting frustrated at one point with where I was in the company and managed to follow him to another state just for the chance at advancing in my career. It was probably the biggest risk and the best thing that I have ever done. I had never been that far away from my family. Bob and his partner are like my parents away from home. I love the stories that Bob has told me from his childhood. I say that, but have to wonder if they weren't more recent in his life.

You know the things your mom used to say, like: "Don't make that face. It'll get stuck like that permanently," or "Don't stare at the sun or you'll go blind." He liked to test things like that. My favorite is when he wanted to test the theory of going blind by staring at the sun. He decided to sit on his driveway and stare at the sun with one eye covered. That way, if he did go blind, he'd have one good eye. Definitely my favorite. The other one he tried was taking a piece of string and tying it around his pinky toe very tightly. Wanted to see if it would really fall off. I am assuming the reason for this was so that if it did fall off, you wouldn't see it. His toe did turn purple, but he had to take the string off as it hurt.

He is also very creative. Occasionally, their friends will visit. On a hot summer day, they decided that it would be fun to use a slip and slide. Instead of buying one, they took a big blue tarp and ran water over it. They do have this great hill in their yard that is perfect for it. Can you imagine 4 adults on an adult sized slip and slide? I would have loved to see pictures of this.

Now imagine the same 4 adults deciding to use the same hill for sledding. They decided to make a sled. I had this lawn chair that I left there one summer. They took the lawn chair and attached it to water skis. This I did see pictures of. It actually worked. And yes, it was the same 4 adults.

When we were both working together, we would occasionally get bored at work and call each other. We both managed a tobacco store. Generally, there were extremely slow with the occasional rush. We'd spend so much time on the phone, that people would realize that if the line was busy that we were talking to each other. One day, he was working at my store. I had the day off for something. I came back the next day to find a clue taped to my cash register. Each clue led me to another. I had to have had at least 50 clues placed throughout the store. The prize was a hair scrunchie that I had left at his house one weekend. At least it kept me occupied. :)

One last Bob tidbit. He also likes to make up occasional phrases. My favorite is "lick it, it's flavored." I know what you must be thinking. I know that it isn't the fact that Bob is standing next to me and pointing to the nearest light socket saying "Lick it, it's flavored."


I apologize for the long break in blogging. Work has been so busy that there hasn’t been much time. There’s also Dana. Dana monopolizes the computer at home quite a bit. Granted, I’ve been so tired from work that I don’t want to even look at a computer most nights.

I heard a story on the radio this week that I thought was cute and would share with everyone. We have a radio station that plays Christmas music continually from Thanksgiving week through Christmas day. I love that they do this every year as I can never seem to get enough of the music. They have been asking people to share their stories the last few weeks.

One story was about this family that sings Feliz Navidad. I would think just about everyone has sung words to a song that they thought were really the words and then find out that what they were singing is wrong. At one point during the song, they all stop, but for the nephew of the caller who is singing “police killed my dog.”

Quick and cute!

Happy Holidays!

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Boysenberry, Blueberry and Diet Coke With Lemon Do Not Mix...

Last night, Dana and I went to IHOP to meet Beth after she was done at the dealership. She got a NEW car!! I'm excited for her. New cars are the best! I normally love IHOP, but this was probably the worst experience I've had yet in a restaurant.

The waitress we had was really bad. I pretty much tip on XXX things. Do they keep my glass full of Diet Coke? Do they check back to make sure my food is okay (at least twice)? Do they ask if there is anything else that I want before they give me the check?

She started off okay. She checked back to see if we were ready to order. We started off with an appetizer. Came back and asked if we were ready to order, or were we going to wait until our friend arrived. Dana was craving wings, so we ordered those. This was probably the last time we saw our waitress for about 45 minutes. Try having about a half of a glass of Diet Coke and eating Buffalo Wings. By the time I was on my third wing, I was out of Diet Coke and only had the lemon wedge and ice to try to cool off my toungue. I was left with trying to cool it off by eating some of the blue cheese dressing. Didn't help. Eventually, it went away.

We saw her several times in that 45 minutes that we were waiting, but not because she was helping us at all. You'd think that if you only have 3 tables that you would check with each of them. Nope. Not at all. We were the forgotten table. When she finally did come back, we decided to order. I ordered Pumpkin pancakes. I thought that they would be good. Not too flavorful. She brings Dana's order out and tells me that mine is still being made. "You have to cook the Pumpkin all the way through." Yeah, because I wanted to eat the batter!

I get them and realize that just maple syrup isn't going to be enough. They don't really have that Pumpkin flavor I was hoping for, so all the flavors came out. Okay, not the Strawberry. Don't like that one. The syrup is the best part about eating pancakes in a restaurant. Especially if they have multiple flavors. I started with Butter Pecan, then on to Boysenberry and then the Blueberry. If only I had milk. Nope. I did, however, finally have Diet Coke. I did realize that there is one issue with having Diet Coke. Boysenberry, Blueberry, and Diet Coke do not mix.

Beth got there just as Dana and I were finished. We asked for the check and Beth asked if she could order. Our waitress told us that she was done, but she would get someone else to take her order. You would think that that would actually happen. Nope. I think we sat there for about 10 minutes and no waitress to take her order. Our waitress basically made excuses and said she told the other person. She is good at blaming other people. While we were sitting there, she had no problem blaming the cooks or anyone else for that matter.

Beth gave up. We paid and then went to see her nice, shiney new car. I have to say that this was the smallest tip I've ever given anyone. Even a delivery person for Pizza. $3.00. If you know any of us, we do not hesitate to tip big. In the past, we would challenge ourselves and it wasn't unheard of to give our waitperson a tip the size of our check. We were even told at one time that we were the major funder for a dvd collection.

Well, off to work for the day. 3 minutes until I have to actually start taking wonderful calls. Woo hoo!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Accident Prone..

I am inspired by Firebear's comment to my last blog. Common sense took me down memory lane and I thought that I'd blog about it. These were days that Common Sense took a holiday.

I used to work for Mc Donald's and have had a few interesting injuries. I've been hit in the mouth by a heel spatula (think cookie sheet with a handle) as I was behind one of my co-workers as they turned around to get some buns out of the bun toaster. I've also managed to get my hand caught in the Big Mac bun toaster. That left a nice little scar on my hand. Thankfully, it wasn't on my entire hand, but it still hurt.

This is actually the best one where somehow, common sense wasn't really present that day. I'm not sure if it was mine that was missing, or if it was actually management.

So I was fishing hashbrowns out of the fryer. There were "floaters." Meaning that some of them escaped from the basket. I hated that. Not because I had to rescue them, but because the tongs that we used were crap. Imagine a piece of metal bent in a U shape without a spring to help them open/close easily and that they were probably about 6 inches in length. Any idea where I am going with this yet? So far, I've got a burn on my hand and a split lip..... (it actually happened in the same week, not the same day)

So I'm trying to rescue the nice little hashbrowns when I have pain in my finger. a little too close to the fryer and my right finger decided to take a dive. In case you ever wondered about what it feels like, IT HURTS! Then there's the wonderful burn spray. Not a good idea if you've just done this. It actually bubbles as well as hurts.

My manager, the nice and wonderful person she is, gave me my lunch early. Gee. That really helped. I swear that she had it in for me that day, as it just kept going downhill from there. I come back from lunch, my thumb is throbbing and I'm trying not to scream from the pain, to find out that I am going to be on fries. Hmmm...let's see...salt, the fryer, hot sticks of potatoes and a heat lamp. Yeah, that's going to make it all better. I had to do that for about 30 minutes. Then I was put on the production line, which meant wrapping all the sandwiches that came up front from the grill. there is the opportunity for small little paper cuts and the whole issue of the incessant throbbing and PAIN that I am still in.

My last duty for the day was to direct 3 trainees in the grill area. You would think that that wouldn't be so bad. Should give me more time to ease the pain. Oh no, that isn't my luck. Besides being pulled in different directions by the trainees, I was pulled in several others by the rest of the store. I think I would have been better off just going home. I did manage to survive that day and my finger escaped with out a trace of a scar. I really don't recommend trying this, however. :) HA

So on my next job adventure, I worked for a convienience store chain. The store I worked at had a restaurant, which was my new home. There were several days that common sense took a holiday, but I will share 3 of those with you.

The funniest one was the day that a customer asked for fried onions. Keep in mind that the only way I knew how to do that was with pickle juice. That's how we did it at McDonald's. It works if the vents for the grill are actually directly over the grill and can catch the steam and whatnot. Not a good idea if the vents are actually near the ceiling. The guy working the register actually turned on a flashlight, put it on his head and started making foghorn noises.

The next two happened in the same week. I was in the back room trying to open a tote. All I had to do was cut a small tie, about the size of a garbage bag tie. Normally, I don't have problems with this. I've done this hundreds of times. This time, I not only cut the tie, but decided to slice open the meaty part of my left thumb. Probably about an inch or so deep as well. The best part about it was that it really didn't bleed. I'm a rather curious person by nature and couldn't resist opening up the cut to look inside. Being the way that I am, I naturally thought that others wouldn't mind looking either. Yeah, not a good idea.

This is probably the stupidest thing, next to the fryer incident. I was in the back room again trying to grab cups to fill the dispensers in the coffee area. To do this, you either have to climb on a milk tote to reach them, or use "the hook." The hook was similar to a meat hook that we actually used to pull milk totes in the cooler with. Pretty simple and easy task, really. Not for me that day. I managed to hit the flourescent lightbulbs above me. I decided to look up in wonder at the fact that I hit the lights above me. After the fact, I realized that my forehead was actually bleeding. I went and checked my face in the mirror and ended up with a circle the size of the lightbulbs on my forehead above my right eye. If I would have moved about a half inch, I could have lost my eye. Common sense took a holiday that day! :)

I'm sure I have some other good ones, but these are the most memorable for now.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

The Adventures of She Who Should Post More Often...

Well, it's been a while since my last post. Hard to get time to do them at work. We are finally on the phones, but there just hasn't been enough time to blog at work yet. I figured I'd do a quick one today. Am supposed to be doing laundry right now, but I just don't have the energy to. I'll do it later.

So, I had an interesting time after work last night. Had to go to the DMV to get my tabs renewed for my car. Usually, it's pretty quick as they have an express lane for tabs. Unfortunately, not last night. I was horrified to see that there was a "window closed" sign in the express lane. To backtrack a little, I told Dana to stay in the car because I wouldn't be long at all. With windows open. It was very humid outside. And no, I'm not hinting that I could have left the keys in the car for her to turn on the air conditioner. So I'm inside and I grab my number. C61. They were helping B10. I didn't really catch the B part of it right away. This particular site has a very diverse group of customers. I love children, but why do you need to bring your 10 children with you to the DMV? You aren't really watching them. If you were, you would see your smallest child laying on the floor in the middle of everyone. Not to mention the fact that he hit his head on the post and is about to cry any minute. Or the mother yelling at your screaming child to shut up. Or the children just running around in general with no purpose. I really don't know why I come here. There are many others I could go to, but I always set myself up for this. It's never quick. And poor Dana is sitting in the car. At least she has her book. They say the wait time is only going to be 35-45 minutes. And here I am without my book. So this guy behind me asks me what letter I have on my ticket. I tell him and he points out that he hopes they aren't really on B. But I guess we'll find out if two people have the same number. CRAP! I really hope that it isn't true. Please, please let it be wrong! So we chat while waiting and hope that they end up skipping a bunch of numbers every time they call a new one. I was grateful that there really weren't 51 people before me or 151 if they were truly on B (which they weren't, thank goodness). I think it was more like 30. Still took the 45 minutes, but at least it wasn't longer than that. So the guy says that he hopes it isn't raining. That reminds me that there were thunderstorms predicted for last night around that time. Then some wonderful non-working DMV clerk says that there is a tornado warning until 9pm. GREAT! Now I have to keep hoping that it isn't raining. My poor car will be wet inside. Oh yeah..Dana too (kidding Dana, I was more worried about what you were going to do if it was raining). I couldn't go out and close the windows because I could lose my spot in line. I really didn't want to wait another 45 minutes because I had to take a new number, so I had to hope that all was okay outside. They finally call my number, only to find out that I have to wait in line for the cashier now. Yeah. Great! At least that was only a 5 minute wait. Happy that that horrible experience is over, I go back out to the car. I notice that it had rained. Didn't think it was that bad until I saw the big puddle. Oh oh. I hope Dana isn't too wet. Imagine walking up to the car to see an umbrella sticking out of the window. Gotta give her credit for thinking of the umbrella. I felt bad, but was laughing hysterically at the sight.

So on our way to the DMV, we pass a car fire. Wasn't big at first, but it got bigger as I was driving away. I kept watching out of my mirror to see what was going on. I just have a few questions:

If your car is on fire, why do you try to put it out?
Do you think that it's going to help?
Do you not know that gasoline is highly combustable and your car will explode?
If you see/hear a tiny explosion, why must you continue to try and put out the fire?
Do you really think that it is going to help?
Do you have a death wish?
If it explodes a third time, why do you keep going back?
Don't you realize that it could be a much bigger one the next time?

Yes, I saw the flames get higher and small explosions. The dude kept trying to put it out and go back towards the car. Let it go. You can't stop it.

Okay one more thing before I go. So we drive by a sign for upcoming concerts and whatnot occasionally. Last night we saw "Smuckers Champions" or something like that. I can't wait. I get to see Grape and Strawberry.

Until next time...

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

A life of crime...

With jobs that I have held in the past, I have seen some interesting things. When I first moved here and was working for a convenience store, one of the news stations decided to do a in-depth report about gas drive-offs. Dealing with them is not fun if you are the person that is working when it happens. Depending on the company, they may make you pay for the lost gas purchases. I had been written up by my manager for having alot of them. All I can say is that if a bus is in the first row of gas pumps and you can't see behind it, how is that my fault?!?!

The best part about the newscast was not the fact that they were filming actual customers driving off without paying for their gas, but the fact that the police chief actually made a statement that they don't really care about drive-offs. Yes! Thank you so much. You have just told everyone watching that it's okay to drive off without paying for your gas!

I think that my favorite drive-off story is this couple who were successful one of my last days at the store while I was in Wisconsin. They totally did this intentionally as they had put mud on their liscense plate to block off the last number. They parked at the farthest gas pump that was closest to the parking lot exit. He pumps the gas and she comes inside to make other purchases. I asked if she had gas, not shocked when she said no. I figured that he'd come in to get that. Not unheard of and pretty common when I think about it. So she walks out the door and trys to go into stealth mode. Yeah. Pretty obvious when almost the entire store front is windows and she slowly walks to the left of the doors while watching what we are doing inside. As I am pretty much by myself, it's hard to leave the register to catch her. Got the plate for what I could see that wasn't covered by mud. She gets to the car and they drive off. Yeah. Gotta give them credit for pulling it off. I did report it to the police, but it was one of those..."well, we'll send them a letter and they have 30 days to respond to the letter." What the crap? A letter really works.

The other store I worked at in Wisconsin was just a blast. It seemed to be the Friday/Saturday night hang out for the local high school kids. There was a short order restaurant in this store and they would hang out in the restaurant and make a huge mess and then just leave. One night, two of the ususal mess makers decided that they would steal some beer. We sold the liter bottles as well as the 12-packs. The liters were their intended target. The person in the restaurant comes running up to the register and tells me that there is a kid back by the beer door with his pants down. I, of course am flabbergasted by this as I couldn't beleive that someone would actually do that. I had her hang out by me so that we could catch the little culprit. I did, but things went wrong. He came up to the register and you could so tell that he put the bottle in his pants. There is no way that the bulge I saw was real. Give me a break. So I have him sit down in the restaurant. I loved the look that I got for him being caught. His friend left. He tells me that he has to get something and before I know it he is out the door. The next thing I see is this guy in a white shirt running down the sidewalk. Unfortunately, I couldn't catch him, however, I did manage to tell him that he couldn't come back the next time that he came in. No more public exposure priveledges for you!

One more shoplifting story before I go...

So once I moved here, I worked at the same chain of stores in a very scary area. I have to say that the store I was at was the only in it's area that didn't get held up. It was a pretty common occurance. It was also in a lower-income neighborhood. I would get upset as some of the parents would send their 4 year olds over to the store to get them their king size candy bar and a liter of pop. Okay, did I mention the fact that the child has to cross a very, very busy street? So this particular child would wander in the store. Never really thought much about it, but once I realized what he might have been doing, I watched him like a hawk. He and one of his little friends decided to shop lift. I caught them as they were about to go out the door. Held them captive behind the register until the police showed up. They had a large bag of cheetos and some other stuff that they had shoved in their jackets. As I am waiting for the officer to show up, this older woman sees them and asks me what they did. I told her exactly what they did. She shocked me by asking me if she could give them each a dollar. What the crap? I asked her why she wanted to pay them for shoplifting. Her response was that they didn't know what they did. I argued with her about that for about 5 minutes. I eventually gave up and they each earned a dollar for stealing. Hmmm...the message that I got was "look...people will give you money if you steal. It's okay." I was so mad. So the little theives were standing there and laughing and having a fun time. I got mad and told them that they had better be quiet or I'd take the money away from them. The best part of this was that once the officer did arrive, he recognized one of them and told me that he's had problems with him before. A 4 YEAR OLD!!! The only thing I could do was tell them that they were no longer allowed in the store. The did get a ride in the police car home though.

Until next time...

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

She Who Should Post More Often Says...

I will, but it is so much more fun irritating Dana by non-blogging. Now that I have more time on my hands and can do this more often, I will try and post on a more regular basis. I cannot tell you how frequently as I don't want to say I'll do something I cannot commit to and disappoint you.

Training is going rather well. I was surprised to see that they were putting us on the phones our second week. I have to say that I like the opportunity to apply what they've shown us so far.
Dana is also in the same training class. That can be trying at times. I am liking the drive into work as well. It's nice not to drive on the freeway. No more accidents and delays. Has to be the best thing. Of course, we now work an hour later and there's nothing like being an hour early to work. We've got it down to 1/2 hour now.

There will be more soon, if only an update on the training until we get out into the real world. :)